The Dirty Stares
how often did you face dirty stares? I love travelling from one place to another with earphones as my company and my playlist to sway with. I am just conditioned to it, travel is to music! On the other hand, my eyes stay fixated outside the window observing the smallest of things in the beautiful world outside. (Hot days excluded).
My cab stopped at a long signal, where I noticed a few people standing in front of a small Tea stall, while a woman on the two wheeler stood right in front of the stall awaiting the signal to go green. No matter the heat, a moving two wheeler is opposed by the wind from the opposite direction and sadly, her kurta from behind had risen above her buttocks and her dupatta had swayed to one side of her body. Troubled by the heat and traffic, she did not realise that she needed to correct herself! And there they were, four sipping men, grinning at her sight, checking her top to bottom.
Her lifted kurta and her breasts that were no longer hidden under the dupatta was a picnic to them! Yes, I am going to be open about using these words as I find nothing abnormal in it. It is God given and is a part of the body; what is the fuss about? I wonder if they have ever come across the situation when the helmet was lifted and they found their own family members from underneath those covers.
From the female point of view, being looked at like that feels gross. You complain to people around, or to your families, they will tell you to look away from them and avoid. They are undoubtedly correct! It is impossible to fight and abuse every insane man as such. What I am trying to understand is, what is it that they get out of the stares? Is what they see on the roads so different from what they see in their houses? I do not find women of their category staring at the crotches of men on the roads from the over tight jeans that the boys use these days or the underwears they flaunt from their lower waist pants! I have been stared at as well; a number of times, and each time I have wanted to go knead the man at the right places that he deserves because I am not an object in an exhibition for him to stare.
A completely decked and covered woman will still be stared at the same way, but without any offence, there is an entire community of women in India who wear almost backless blouses and hardly any dupatta to cover themselves. That is their tradition, and there is no harm in that. But yet, the fully covered people in jeans and dresses will be stared at in ways that their vision if gifted with x-ray facilities to see through!
All I did back then was to roll down my windows and gesture the woman to correct herself leading to the sheer disappointment of the Devils staring. Round and Round in my mind I keep asking myself, that is there a way I could see what goes on in the minds of such men when they look? What best is it going to serve them in a public place? Or is there a special pleasure hormone in the eyes that helps them relax in such ways?
It is a very small observation, but it made me think about all the times when I would have been a tad bit careless in correcting my clothes due to many such natural reasons like the heat or winds. If anything, this has just made me all the more conscious making me sit straight without movement in an AC cab tugging at my top to make sure it was placed correctly every two odd minutes. It just made me lecture the very young girls to avoid wearing shorts even in the summers because unfortunately we are still surrounded by layers of dirt around us!
I am a traditional woman in the body and mind of a modern girl, and I wish to wear and flaunt what makes me happy. I wish to not be stared at by the class of men who still feel comfortable urinating on the sides of the roads with women and young girls walking past them and thus feel it fair enough for them to stare back in return for his show! Sadly, I do not think that him being stared at would make him any less comfortable, rather he might just end up feeling good about his manhood, and I also know if people like those could read articles like these, the problems will be lesser! But I make a plea to some men reading this to embarrass the next man they find aiming at the roadsides thus starting a chain to embarrass them from each act of dirt. For me being stared at any specific body part of mine is no less than being touched unwillingly, and that touch is disgusting! Having said that, there is a clan of such men even amongst the educated lot who manage to act like a creepy beggar in offices and other such public places, to them I ask, what is the point of the investment in your education?
To all such men who hardly ever will know this is how we feel, Back Off!! Whoever can kindly convey!