Why An Indian Woman Forced To Consider Her in-Laws, Her First Priority

I and my best friend got married in the same city. It was her brother in law’s marriage and I was invited. I reached the marriage garden and searched for my friend. She was busy with relatives. On seeing me she excused herself and came to me. We hugged each other. Drape in Banarsi saree and loaded with gold jewelry she was looking extremely gorgeous. But something was missing. Her eyes told me she was not happy. Judging, it was not the right time to ensure I abandoned the thought.

After a few days, I went to meet her and found her packing her bags. On seeing me, she broke into tears and gave me the news of her mother’s death. I was shocked. Unable to react, I remained silent and listened to my friend.

“Muma was not well for a few weeks. But I wasn’t allowed to go and meet. According to my in-laws, being an elder daughter in law it was my duty to attend the marriage first. I wish I could see mom once before she died.”

I felt so sorry for her. After dropping her to the airport, I reached home but was haunted by a thought “why we females are forced to consider in-laws our first priority after marriage?”

Seriously, this is not just my friend’s story, but the story of most of the women in India. We talk so much about women’s equality. But, has woman attain the equal status. In more than 50 percent Indian families, a woman is considered as her husband’s property after marriage. Her duties for her natal home shifts. She is expected to take care of her husband and in-laws.

Even if her parents are not well she is required to seek permission of her husband and in-laws before visiting them.

One of my friend’s father has expired, but still, she isn’t allowed to accommodate her mother at her place as she is living with her in-laws. Why after marriage an Indian woman’s duty towards her parents is limited.

My mother carried me for 9 months in her womb, she gave me birth after going through labor pains. My parents taught me to speak, to walk and to take care of myself. They educated me. My father worked extra shifts to pay my tuition fees. And, my mother taught me household. But when I ripe and got loaded with merits, I was married so that my in-laws and my husband can reap my talent.

Well, I am not against husbands or in-laws. I am just against the rule followed by most of the Indian families that after marriage woman should give priority to her in-laws. I don’t understand who made this rule.

Who got the right to decide a woman’s priority?

Why a woman’s right to her natal home after marriage limited to her share in the property?

Why, if she tries to resort her parents, to spend on them and support them financially she and her parents become the subject of taunts and hot discussions.

The worse part is that even parent teach their daughters to give more importance to her husband’s family. They fear her daughter’s propensity toward them may become a matter of dispute between her and her in-laws and husband. Also, this may be considered as interference by the girl’s own brother and sister in law( Bhabhi) and may deteriorate the relationship between them.

I don’t understand why is it implied that after getting married a woman leaves her parents and her in-laws are her first parent?

Why don’t anyone understand that marriage don’t kill the love and understanding a daughter share with her parents.

This may not be true for a few Indian families, but a large portion of our society is drowning under such conservative thoughts.

According to Mumbai high court, a married daughter can also share the responsibility of her parents. But do you think that a legal notice can bring a change in the society?

No, It’s our thought that needs to be changed. And it’s us who will bring the change. It is a high time now. We need to break the old notions and married couples should take the liability of both sets of their parents.

This step will also encourage parents to educate their girls and make them financially independent. This will kill the still surviving illegal dowry practice completely and will reduce female infanticide.

The day is not far when in each and every Indian family instead of considering a female child burden, The birth of a girl child will be celebrated.

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