I am a fierce, opinionated, fiery and independent being…
Recently thecompletewoman(TCW) met Twisha a successful professional. During TCW’s talk with her, we found out how she is balancing her work and personal life. She looks mild but her thoughts are explosive, and her words are strong enough to encourage all our readers.
With us Twisha is sharing what made her to come this level of professional and personal success, she shared three important principles of her own life, which we feel are must for every women (human).
If encouragement is a trigger to success for many, discouragement was for me! I started out in life as an underconfident, diffident, lost child in a staunchly patriarchal household where my father was clearly the head of the house, with me and my mother in subservient roles.
I work as a Trade Manager in Global Trade Compliance for Microsoft in Redmond, Washington. It has been an eventful journey from leaving India in 2009 post my wedding. I have moved countries, having lived and worked in Dubai and London before coming to Greater Seattle area, some 3 years back. I have worked in some of the top firms including the headquarters of top two technology companies; Amazon and now Microsoft.
Besides work, Prem (my husband) and I are parents to our 2.9-year-old son, Atreya.
Here is the secret of success in her own words;
When I was asked to share my story, I did reflect upon three important shapers/pillars in my life. Here they are:
- Patriarchy – If it had not been for the suppression I faced as a girl, the constant rhetoric I heard around how submissive and demure, we ought to be, how we have to eat last, get up first, be the last one in the house to switch off the lights, succumb to a man’s desires in the darkness of the night and into broad daylight, I would not have become the feminist that I am.
Do not be shy of asking questions, demanding your fair share, of being ambitious even argumentative. “Be bold, be curious”, this is our motto at Microsoft and I have adopted this as my personal mantra.
Today I regret that I married early (despite being in a very happy relationship), I wish I had not said yes under pressure, I wish I had more time to ponder about my career and life. We are conditioned to think of marriage and childbirth as priorities, we forget our individuality and start believing that what is happiness for one, is happiness for all!
The shackles of patriarchy are so strong, so powerful, sometimes evident, sometimes invisible, it is not easy to breakthrough but find the confidence from numerous success stories, surround your self with strong women, help other women, be a role model to the younger girls and a supportive friend to the older ones. Patriarchy should unite, not divide us.
- Partnership – I was plain fortunate that I found a man like Prem, who believes in true equality of sexes, in equal division of labor, who has and continues to invest time in my career, helping me develop as a professional.
I also understand that it is not easy to find the right person but when one does, it is critical to set the right expectations. My husband gifted me a book called “Lean In” by facebook COO, Sheryl Sandberg, she says “Trying to do it all and expecting that it all can be done exactly right is a recipe for disappointment. Perfection is the enemy.” Hence “Ask for help”! Do not try to do it all by yourself, you are not the prefect Star Plus bahu with thousand hands and do not aim to be one! Create a loving and fair partnership with your immediate family members for a sustainable life ahead.
- Passion – It is perfectly fine to take pride in other’s achievements especially when they are your close family, but it is equally important to discover what, you enjoy as an individual.
I for example, love public service hence I am on the board of an NGO in London called ‘Gandhi Foundation’, Social Media Lead for a local charity here called ‘Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America’ and a volunteer for AID (Association for India’s Development). In the past, too I have been an ethusiastic volunteer for a range of causes, social and political. It gives me immense satisfaction that I am doing my bit as a responsible citizen, not simply being an armchair critic.
Social work has helped me become a more content person, also more detached from negative competition at work and sets the right tone for my young boy whom we wish to develop into a compassionate, gentle child.
Today I am a fierce, opinionated, fiery and independent being. I constantly learned to push my
boundaries and define life on my own terms.
I am far from perfect, there is so much learn, so much to implement. I am only sharing some “best practices” from my otherwise flawed life!