Why Extra-Marital Affairs happen (A bold article)

Why extra marital affairs happens? what are the reasons for extramarital affairs? Are extramarital affairs good or bad?

There are so many things that go on in our daily lives and minds, that we do not dare to share it with even the best of our people. We are either scared of judgement, of hurting their feeling or just because we want to keep it private! One such thing that’s no longer a hidden fact dominating our society is the idea of an extra-marital affair! I have believed that the Indian Society has long before hit modernism, but has always remained in the dark as far as accepting it goes.

Years ago, when people were not ready to accept hearing about extra-marital affairs so openly, Director Karan Johar came out in the daylight with his movie Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna. I still remember reading so many reviews, that stated even though the brutal reality, it received a lot of criticism because the Indian market was not ready for such a bold topic to be brought out of the bag.

Today, so many divorces and separations that we hear about are because of such extramarital affairs. But why has this suddenly reached a state of limelight? Are people just wanting to be trendy or is it that we have no control of our consciences? It is hard enough to cope up with the demands of the society, and I come from the modern faith that I cannot be bound by rules, but definitely, will not support things that are beyond God’s faith! But then again I come to realise, that it is not just the men, but even the women these days who are equally keeping themselves available for people outside their wedlock!

I knew someone as such, a woman who I would not like to name, but after eight years of marriage, suddenly I hear about her having an affair. That all the gym classes she was attending were at no gym! I judged; because that is what we humans do. Until I decided to flip the coin to the other side and find out why someone who I knew so well would do something to a man who would bring down the stars for her. Reason, society and its thoughts again.

We pray for freedom and equality, but then as far as the relationship between parents and children is concerned in this country, it somewhere gets washed out. Don’t get me wrong, I believe parents is that one pillar, the only pillar actually that stays unconditional, but yet I believe that the parent-child relationship here is still not so healthy.

The choices for career and partners still stays glued to the savings and arrangements respectively. She, my friend, revealed the same. She was denied marriage to her lover and was forced into the current marriage over a case of emotional blackmailing. She gave in knowing she was ruining an innocent’s man’s life. But what choice did she have? So many years after marriage when her eyes met with her ex, the feelings that were bottled up inside her heart for years forced itself out as well, and before she knew it, she was having an affair. Being with her ex made her feel so normal, that until she was caught red-handed by her husband. She confessed, and soon the holy matrimony ended. She neither could gather the guts to apologise to her husband nor get back together with her ex. Might I add, this might be happening with many men too? Either way, it is only a lifestyle that does good to no one in the longer run.

This is just one case and one scenario, but there is so much more damage taking place. For starters, if by chance, not with feelings but even due to family pressure you have a child, the future is difficult. It is either explaining about being a single parent the entire life or being ashamed of what has happened or has been done by you. On the other hand, considering India is a country where not just two individuals but two families are married together, imagine the turmoil and hurt we are putting them through. Also, all the effort they took, the things that they would have done to have that one special wedding day for their child is all in vain!

All I am saying in, no matter what, it is, of course, wrong to give in to such urges or tempts of seeking for any kind of support in the form of extramarital affairs from someone outside ( if it is crossing a line; friends excluded); but what I am also saying is, let us be educated not just in our careers but also in our lives to give people a chance to their feelings. If every person before marriage is given a choice to chose, I do not think they would ever have a problem settling in with whoever it is! On the other hand, it just one slip, it just one momentary lapse, it is just lust, then you only have yourself to answer to.

It is a beautiful world with beautiful souls and people, and I believe we should work towards keeping that intact and not be reasons or victims to ‘Hurt’! Men are excellent people, but I can only speak for the other side that women are the tender ones, indulging in anything that could hurt, is just not right. And above all genders and values, we are humans, and we should find something productive to do, we should find ways to fix people and not break people! We should keep above all the sanctity of the institution of marriage, and on the other hand, let people be who they want to be. We should work towards being the change and stepping up for who you want to be with, thus making life simpler for all!

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