Breaking The Stereotype- An End To Differential Parenting Based On Gender
This piece of writing is for those females who find themselves lone warrior when it comes to housework and they wonder if their spouse or brother could have helped in some way!! It’s also for those men who wish their daughters/sisters should have a life beyond the kitchen.
I am a mother who’s a firm believer of the fact that it’s the upbringing that plays the most pivotal role in the way human life shapes. I have seen women cribbing in the kitchen doing daily chores and wishing if they could get help from the men in the family. For a working woman suffering becomes tougher. When the sole responsibility of home-making comes on her shoulder, it adds more gravity to the situation.
Sometimes I wonder, isn’t home-making the toughest job in the world, where one gets no sabbaticals, no rewards and no credits, instead is demeaned and considered of less social importance?
Why not we the women with our men by our side, stop this suffering forever by curbing differential parenting based on gender differences. Here, I choose the term differential parenting, which is self-explanatory- Parenting where children are not brought alike. This differential attitude while raising a kid can be based on gender differences, or based out of more inclination for one child over other. I am talking about the first case, where gender plays the dominant role for the difference in upbringing.
Have you ever thought can the choice of color make a girl lesser girl or a boy lesser boy?? My mind can’t perceive it. The customary theme of color for a baby shower goes as blue for a baby boy and pink for a girl. When I went shopping for my one-year girl I realized the market is flooded with pink a variety of shades, for the baby girls. There’s hardly another color option to choose from.
Even today, in many houses the celebrations for welcoming a baby boy and girl is different. Some beat a plate and a glass on their terrace when a boy is born, some give silver to aunt (father’s sister) and many more customs prevail in our country. Why do we need to show the difference the day that little bundle has stepped in?? It might be age-old custom but someone has to pioneer in breaking the stereotype and stop associating our happiness with gender!!
Now as that small baby grows, let him/her be free to explore his/her interests. Let’s not decide for them the way a particular gender should route out emotions. It is so clichéd that boys don’t cry!! Please let your boy child learn to vent out emotions equally without discrimination. Let’s not associate tears with gender. At the same time, when we are teaching our boys to handle emotions correctly, let’s teach our girls to be strong. With the daily flooding of news about molestation and rape, it’s the need of the time that our girls undergo physical training programs. Let them both understand it’s not the physical strength that makes someone superior. It’s the emotional strength and one’s character that are virtues.
As you bring up the children involve them in housework without associating gender with any activity. Now is the time to end the age old traditions set up in the house, making woman responsible for every household work. Let us pledge to raise our kids equally by setting up as an example ourselves.
Let your boy know that he is not entitled to services of women. Make him understand that they are not the object of desire. Let him learn to respect women in every role and under every circumstance.
This is a promise I have made to myself, a promise that there will be no weaker sex in my family. A promise that there will be no upbringing with a disparity between a girl and a boy. A promise if kept will make the world a better place for both the genders!!
I am here to seek a promise from every fellow mother and father who believe in equality of sexes in a true sense of words. It’s like every little step we take every day will lead to the inculcation of a sense of equality both in terms of rights and duties, in both the genders. Start today for better tomorrow!!